Friday, November 03, 2006

Buried Alive

I apologize if my handwriting and letter seems sloppy. My hand is shaking with adrenaline. Please don’t misunderstand. I am not an angel. I’m a bad guy. Prison isn’t a nice place and I haven’t been a nice guy. When I came to prison I was 17. SMU II took me down a dark dark hole. I know SMU II made me numb, to where I could care less about consequences. Paranoid, feeling like they’re messing with me even if it was only my imagination. I grind my teeth and clench my teeth while I hold in my breath in flashes of anger. No outside stimulus whatsoever. I go a day or so without sleeping. I’m constantly thinking about what other people are thinking of me. I always feel when I’m escorted to rec or shower I could be punched or slammed at any moment. I’m very careful. My dreams are often violent. I can’t sleep unless I cover my chest with a magazine or book. SMU II does some weird shit to you man. I inspect my food, if it’s weird in any way I won’t eat it….The feeling of being buried alive is real. -Prisoner in Arizona, Eyman


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