Friday, June 27, 2008

Testimony from Women's Control Unit in FLA

I knew I couldn’t just “sit here and pass time” and I would emerge from this abyss unchanged. I had to do something, something different from my first CM stay (where I broke) – I had hung myself and was cut down by my “torturers” – revived and sent to an outside hospital for observation (lack of oxygen and throat damage). I’m lucky I didn’t break my neck…

I just knew back then (2003) I wasn’t “CM material.” I couldn’t live like this – so deprived of EVERYTHING because I’m a “needy” person and CM is not a place for the needy – “indeedy…” There were a lot of different factors at play that pushed me to decide to kill myself before they killed me.

Nevertheless, here I am again, back in prison – chewed up and swallowed by the beast who didn’t get its fill of me the last 2 times and here I am CM-ed due to prior CM placement and a history that marks an inability to live in open population without disrupting the orderly running of the facility – YEAH! (smile) and being a threat to the security of the institution.

I have been indigent since August and owe $28.00 to medical.. So I can’t get anything to make myself semi-comfortable or (get) the proper food to eat for my Hep. C. I can’t get any more batteries, nor can I even buy (wear) sneakers or shorts or t-shirts on cool days…I would be floored if I could eat tuna & drink V-8, listen to the radio, have my own writing paper, a stock of hygienes and whatever is close to a “necessity!” I would love to be able to order stuff once a week, like 66 of the women here (only 4 of us are “poor”). There are only 70 CM women in Florida State prisons. Lowell (here) is the only CM for women. So, I’m one of their Public Enemy #1’s

Within A cage- Poem

Within a Cage

How can you
Lock me in a Cage,
Within a Cage,
For some misdeed done,
Within a Cage?
All you can do,
Is feed my rage.
You can’t teach me anything good,
Within a Cage . . .
Except Monsters control the Locks,
And in terror I’ve lost the keys.
Within a Cage,
I plead and pray,
But it simply gets worse,
Every day . . .
Within a Cage,
Animosity worsens,
Empathy is lost,
The Days turn into,
Daze . . .

Within a Cage.

© JRF 2008
April 16, 2008