Wednesday, November 15, 2006

No Psychological Reviews

I have never received the periodic psychological evaluations mandated by policy. My only other contact with the psychologist is that I’ve seen him make rounds in the housing unit (walk by and look in everyone’s cell) once every few months. He’s stopped for a few seconds a couple of times and said a few words, apparently to gauge my sanity. - In long-term segregation 3 years, Michigan, Oaks Correctional Facility

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

So Stressed & Compulsive

“On a day to day basis, I’m stressed out, agitated, with moments of high anxiety. When prisoners aren’t screaming all night, I sleep. Abuse by staff is normal, yet not done on a daily constant basis. Refusing to allow me a shower, or denying me a food tray because some staff doesn’t like my supposed attitude does occur. I have developed a compulsive disorder to the effect that I’m constantly cleaning my cell and washing my hands. Even though I know it’s clean. I’m now really germaphobic because bodily fluids are often thrown in these type of units.” -5 years in long-term segregation, Michigan, Baraga Maximum Correctional Facility

Friday, November 03, 2006

Buried Alive

I apologize if my handwriting and letter seems sloppy. My hand is shaking with adrenaline. Please don’t misunderstand. I am not an angel. I’m a bad guy. Prison isn’t a nice place and I haven’t been a nice guy. When I came to prison I was 17. SMU II took me down a dark dark hole. I know SMU II made me numb, to where I could care less about consequences. Paranoid, feeling like they’re messing with me even if it was only my imagination. I grind my teeth and clench my teeth while I hold in my breath in flashes of anger. No outside stimulus whatsoever. I go a day or so without sleeping. I’m constantly thinking about what other people are thinking of me. I always feel when I’m escorted to rec or shower I could be punched or slammed at any moment. I’m very careful. My dreams are often violent. I can’t sleep unless I cover my chest with a magazine or book. SMU II does some weird shit to you man. I inspect my food, if it’s weird in any way I won’t eat it….The feeling of being buried alive is real. -Prisoner in Arizona, Eyman